Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I puked a lego.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
