This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
