Having a random hookup so left but love u
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
