i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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