rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
