Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
