Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
