Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
