He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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