We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
