Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
