Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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