I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
