She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
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