I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
