So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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