why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
