like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
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