I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
