What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize