We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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