It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
