I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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