hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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