hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
