PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
