I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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