My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
