i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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