hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dick very happy bro
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
