great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The beer is more important than you right now.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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