i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I am one with the molecules
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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