I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
