I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
