He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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