just come out here and I will go home with you...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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