is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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