i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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