i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
