Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
