found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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