You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
