he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I need to sanitize my soul.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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