is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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