is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
