Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
