She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
nutella sex= disaster
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
