Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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