My friends, they love my intelligence
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
