two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize