3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
