Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize