whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
