I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
