I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
