guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
