I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
