I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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