i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
