she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize