It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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