i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Shame is for Republicans.
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