She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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