I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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