Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
