Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
