If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The power of my boobs compel you
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
