is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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