Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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