I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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