time to smoke my breakfast
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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