they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
