whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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