Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize