Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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