Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
